ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
And will not lightly trust the messenger
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears. |
| |
[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus
with a rope's-end] |
| |
Here comes my man; I think
he brings the money.
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Here's that, I warrant
you, will pay them all. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
But where's the money? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Why, sir, I gave the money
for the rope. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
I'll serve you, sir, five
hundred at the rate. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
To what end did I bid thee hie thee home? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
To a rope's-end, sir; and
to that end am I returned. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
And to that end, sir, I will welcome you. |
| |
[Beating him] |
| Officer
|
Good sir, be patient.
|
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Nay, 'tis for me to be
patient; I am in adversity. |
| Officer
|
Good, now, hold thy
tongue. |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Nay, rather persuade him
to hold his hands. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Thou whoreson, senseless villain! |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
I would I were senseless,
sir, that I might not feel
your blows. |
| ANTIPHOLUS
|
Thou art sensible in
nothing but blows, and so is an
ass. |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
I am an ass, indeed; you
may prove it by my long
ears. I have served him from the hour of my
nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder. |
| |
[Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA,
the Courtezan, and PINCH] |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Mistress, 'respice finem,'
respect your end; or
rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
rope's-end.' |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Wilt thou still talk? |
| |
[Beating him] |
| Courtezan
|
How say you now? is not
your husband mad? |
| ADRIANA
|
His incivility confirms no
less.
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand. |
| LUCIANA
|
Alas, how fiery and how
sharp he looks! |
| Courtezan
|
Mark how he trembles in
his ecstasy! |
| PINCH
|
Give me your hand and let
me feel your pulse. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
There is my hand, and let it feel your ear. |
| |
[Striking him]
|
| PINCH
|
I charge thee, Satan,
housed within this man,
To yield possession to my holy prayers
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven! |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad. |
| ADRIANA
|
O, that thou wert not,
poor distressed soul! |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
You minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
And I denied to enter in my house? |
| ADRIANA
|
O husband, God doth know
you dined at home;
Where would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame! |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Sir, sooth to say, you did
not dine at home. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Perdie, your doors were
lock'd and you shut out. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
And did not she herself revile me there? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Sans fable, she herself
reviled you there. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Certes, she did; the
kitchen-vestal scorn'd you. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
And did not I in rage depart from thence? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
In verity you did; my
bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of his rage. |
| ADRIANA
|
Is't good to soothe him in
these contraries? |
| PINCH
|
It is no shame: the fellow
finds his vein,
And yielding to him humours well his frenzy. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me. |
| ADRIANA
|
Alas, I sent you money to
redeem you,
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Money by me! heart and
goodwill you might;
But surely master, not a rag of money. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats? |
| ADRIANA
|
He came to me and I
deliver'd it. |
| LUCIANA
|
And I am witness with her
that she did. |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
God and the rope-maker
bear me witness
That I was sent for nothing but a rope! |
| PINCH
|
Mistress, both man and
master is possess'd;
I know it by their pale and deadly looks:
They must be bound and laid in some dark room. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? |
| ADRIANA
|
I did not, gentle husband,
lock thee forth. |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
And, gentle master, I
received no gold;
But I confess, sir, that we were lock'd out. |
| ADRIANA
|
Dissembling villain, thou
speak'st false in both. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
And art confederate with a damned pack
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
But with these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
That would behold in me this shameful sport. |
| |
[Enter three or four, and
offer to bind him.
He strives] |
| ADRIANA
|
O, bind him, bind him! let
him not come near me. |
| PINCH
|
More company! The fiend is
strong within him. |
| LUCIANA
|
Ay me, poor man, how pale
and wan he looks! |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them
To make a rescue? |
| Officer
|
Masters, let him go
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him. |
| PINCH
|
Go bind this man, for he
is frantic too. |
| |
[They offer to bind Dromio
of Ephesus] |
| ADRIANA
|
What wilt thou do, thou
peevish officer?
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man
Do outrage and displeasure to himself? |
| Officer
|
He is my prisoner: if I
let him go,
The debt he owes will be required of me. |
| ADRIANA
|
I will discharge thee ere
I go from thee:
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor,
And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it.
Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
Home to my house. O most unhappy day! |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
O most unhappy strumpet! |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Master, I am here entered
in bond for you. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF EPHESUS |
Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me? |
| DROMIO OF
EPHESUS |
Will you be bound for
nothing? be mad, good master:
cry 'The devil!' |
| LUCIANA
|
God help, poor souls, how
idly do they talk! |
| ADRIANA
|
Go bear him hence. Sister,
go you with me. |
| |
[Exeunt all but Adriana,
Luciana, Officer and
Courtezan] |
| |
Say now, whose suit is he
arrested at? |
| Officer
|
One Angelo, a goldsmith:
do you know him? |
| ADRIANA
|
I know the man. What is
the sum he owes? |
| Officer
|
Two hundred ducats.
|
| ADRIANA
|
Say, how grows it due?
|
| Officer
|
Due for a chain your
husband had of him. |
| ADRIANA
|
He did bespeak a chain for
me, but had it not. |
| Courtezan
|
When as your husband all
in rage to-day
Came to my house and took away my ring--
The ring I saw upon his finger now--
Straight after did I meet him with a chain. |
| ADRIANA
|
It may be so, but I did
never see it.
Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:
I long to know the truth hereof at large. |
| |
[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of
Syracuse with his rapier drawn,
and DROMIO of Syracuse] |
| LUCIANA
|
God, for thy mercy! they
are loose again. |
| ADRIANA
|
And come with naked
swords.
Let's call more help to have them bound again. |
| Officer
|
Away! they'll kill us.
|
| |
[Exeunt all but Antipholus
of Syracuse and Dromio
of Syracuse] |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF SYRACUSE |
I see these witches are afraid of swords. |
| DROMIO OF
SYRACUSE |
She that would be your
wife now ran from you. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF SYRACUSE |
Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
I long that we were safe and sound aboard. |
| DROMIO OF
SYRACUSE |
Faith, stay here this
night; they will surely do us
no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for
the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of
me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and
turn witch. |
ANTIPHOLUS
OF SYRACUSE |
I will not stay to-night for all the town;
Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard. |
| |
[Exeunt] |
