Act II, Scene 3 A field near Windsor.



DOCTOR CAIUS Vat is de clock, Jack?
RUGBY 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he
has pray his Pible well, dat he is no come: by gar,
Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
RUGBY He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill
him, if he came.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him.
Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
RUGBY Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS Villany, take your rapier.
RUGBY Forbear; here's company.
  [Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE]
Host Bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW Save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE Now, good master doctor!
SLENDER Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
Host To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee
traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to
see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is
he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my
AEsculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is
he dead, bully stale? is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he
is not show his face.
Host Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or
seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
SHALLOW He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of
souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should
fight, you go against the hair of your professions.
Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of
the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to
make one. Though we are justices and doctors and
churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our
youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Page.
PAGE 'Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor
Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of
the peace: you have showed yourself a wise
physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise
and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.
Host Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS Mock-vater! vat is dat?
Host Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, den, I have as mush mock-vater as de
Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me
vill cut his ears.
Host He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?
Host That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me;
for, by gar, me vill have it.
Host And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS Me tank you for dat.
Host And, moreover, bully,--but first, master guest, and
Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
through the town to Frogmore.
  [Aside to them]
PAGE Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
SHALLOW We will do it.


| Adieu, good master doctor.
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a
jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Host Let him die: sheathe thy impatience, throw cold
water on thy choler: go about the fields with me
through Frogmore: I will bring thee where Mistress
Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou
shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, me dank you for dat: by gar, I love you;
and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl,
de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
Host For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne
Page. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.


To see other scenes in the show:

Full Text Act III, Scene 4 A room in Page's house.
Act I, Scene 1 Windsor before Page's house. Act III, Scene 5 A room in the Garter Inn.
Act I, Scene 2 The Same./Act I, Scene 3 A room in the Garter Inn. Act IV, Scene 1 A street.
Act I, Scene 4 A room in Dr. Caius' house. Act IV, Scene 2 A room in Ford's house.
Act II, Scene 1 Before Page's house. Act IV, Scene 3 A room in the Garter Inn./Act IV, Scene 4 A room in Ford's house.
Act II, Scene 2 A room in the Garter Inn. Act IV, Scene 5 A room in the Garter Inn.
Act II, Scene 3 A field near Windsor. Act IV, Scene 6 Another room in the Garter Inn
Act III, Scene 1 A field near Frogmore. Act V, Scene 1 A room in the Garter Inn./Act V, Scene 2 Windsor Park/Act V, Scene 3 A street leading to the Park
Act III, Scene 2 A street. Act V, Scene 4 Windsor Park/Act V, Scene 5 Another Part of the Park
Act III, Scene 3 A room in Ford's house.


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